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email intro stuff then ...

"i have been usually a person who directly communicates and i have found this aspect of myself sometimes off putting to others. do you like talking / reading / writing about relationships ? i like talking about relationships and invite you into hearing about mine / yours / others / interpersonal / intrapersonal / spiritual. in my talking with you during the peacewalk i trust that if you are feeling overwhelmed with a conversation, you will mention something to me directly."

getting back to Oregon then Assisting leading to ... "part of being an Assistant for the [HoN] course is also working out the assistant's own personal stuff. this (wanting more ... / "persistent lack") is my own personal stuff and i fear it drives away [k] (with feelings of her not being enough, me being a black hole of needs). i realize she is working at Heart of Now while i am working by volunteering at Heart of Now. she relates that she tries not to get "crabby" with / at me, that she attempts to get space by drawing considerate boundaries without needing to push me away energetically. i feel like i am getting better clarity and expression of my desires and needs, being able to identify and ask for what i want."

stuff about being busy with meetings http://rkmlai.livejournal.com/234095.html ...

"i feel sometimes i fear the level of my wants and desires. that i will not experience the feeling of satiety. i have expanded my circle of friends from what i had less than five years ago (which is good) and dramatically from what i had over the past 20 years. i often recount to myself how much has changed from just five years ago, how things for me are so much better. i can now count about 15 people who i feel i can count on to talk with me who i have experienced i want to talk with.

i have the idea sometimes that when i acknowledge what things have changed for the better (like now) i feel (like now) better about my life and situation. in the recounting, the feeling becomes realer, my "want" lessened in intensity. wow, in typing this last part i think i will put that in my livejournal here: http://rkmlai.livejournal.com . i feel like i am on the cusp of achieving my goals of actualization. then probably back into the spiral as i work on something else, eh ?

i invite you to write to me, tell me of yourself, an edge you are pushing personally."

closing stuff ...

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