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I called last night Lost Valley to check in on my received postal mail, like had I received anything important or time-sensitive. Nothing much important received. I felt sad after the call, nice that I had connected with Dave then Keli but overall feeling sad about being unresolved with the Lost Valley membership issue. My "Mentor" stated in an email to me, back at the end of March,

"You do not currently qualify for a member space, because, as I said, you are still only offered rentorship [again]. It seemed from the meeting that we had around membership that it just wasn't the thing for you to be a member here now for reasons that you and I could discuss better in person, and which I am at the moment a bit foggy on, but we could try when you get here...And so, as in tennis, the ball is back in your court and we are, more or less, where we were before you submitted your application, except that you have a new housing option."

So I dont know where to go from here (in a light wondering "why" kinda way, not a major handwringing worrying kinda way). I hear that they (Lost Valley) wants me to move back and live there, sorta (positive but not enthusiastic), but I dont understand why not into the membership (why not enthusiastic ? ).

I also see that I have invested a lot of time, energy, effort into Lost Valley and that that is a reason why I have not let go of it, why I still have questioning energy about it.

Just kinda compounded and mirrored by the whole not accepted in the wildertribe scene.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Apr. 18th, 2007 05:14 am (UTC)
I love and adore you.
I got your postcard yesterday and I have been thinking about you. If you'd like to talk on the phone sometime, I'd love that.

I'm sorry that you're still dealing with the aftermath of the wildertribe thing. You deserve so much love and attention. If that's what's keeping you from moving on from Lost Valley, then I say go - post haste. There's no reason to stay if the things that are keeping you are so painful.

But then it's your life. I hope that you find a plac eof peace and a good space so that y ou just know what to do next. You deserve all the love in the universe. I hope you're brilliantly happy with your sweetie and I look forward to spending time with you next time you're in town.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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