ok... there's a third way... c) blatant manipulation.
but my guess is that way won't actually get you what you want.
generally a and b are the best. a should be your first step. worrying about people being nicer generally makes one seem desperate and weird, so the most important thing is to go out into the world as a genuinely compassionate, fun and interesting person. people will like that!
give people something to work with and you won't be disappointed!
I would like to increase the feeling in my life that others care about me. I feel that I do things in my life that bring happiness to my sweetie and myself. I feel that what I do (cooking dinner for her and myself, laundry, etc.) are things I want to do v. "need to do to secure relationship". I however also think I give because I project onto the other person what I want to receive. Sometimes I do get the feedback that I seem desperate for relationship and will put up with abusive people to be in a relationship such as my last one. I dont quite see it that way, but I do like being in relationship, and am willing to "put up" with a lot of idiosyncrasies to love the partner where they are in their life. To "put up" with pickyness, indecision, crabbyness etc. to get the good times also. However I seem sometimes to doubt my ability to draw that line fully.
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a) be like that for other people.
b) ask them out loud. with words.
ok... there's a third way... c) blatant manipulation.
but my guess is that way won't actually get you what you want.
generally a and b are the best. a should be your first step. worrying about people being nicer generally makes one seem desperate and weird, so the most important thing is to go out into the world as a genuinely compassionate, fun and interesting person. people will like that!
give people something to work with and you won't be disappointed!
or was this a rhetorical question?
I would like to increase the feeling in my life that others care about me. I feel that I do things in my life that bring happiness to my sweetie and myself. I feel that what I do (cooking dinner for her and myself, laundry, etc.) are things I want to do v. "need to do to secure relationship". I however also think I give because I project onto the other person what I want to receive. Sometimes I do get the feedback that I seem desperate for relationship and will put up with abusive people to be in a relationship such as my last one. I dont quite see it that way, but I do like being in relationship, and am willing to "put up" with a lot of idiosyncrasies to love the partner where they are in their life. To "put up" with pickyness, indecision, crabbyness etc. to get the good times also. However I seem sometimes to doubt my ability to draw that line fully.
Or maybe I am just overthinking it.