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I am reading "The Coffee Trader" which I am finding exciting, falling asleep only once today while at a coffee shop. Today S has been using the (new) computer to job hunt. S and I are planning our next steps.

I had a nightmare last night about pulling on the orange trailing scarf of a person on the stairs, then that person turns around and her disfigured head turns off as I am hearing screaming all around me. I then abruptly awoke at 1:30a. I am getting tired of the nightmares I regularly have. I feel that my life is going rather good right now. Yes, there have been some issues of "loss" regarding the theft of our G4s and my paper losses, and "uncertainty" regarding injury what with S having CTS and where we go next, but I want to deal with those issues without making a big deal of it (except publishing it here on the internet). Without "reacting" in a way that alienates others in turn making life for me more difficult. I think there is a calculated decision with consequences either way. More concretely when I awake in the early morning, a walk alone might clear my head and reset my mind but leave me alone and cold. Snuggling would awaken my partner potentially leading to nighttime distance. Reading would leave me in bright light. Lying in the dark leaves me lingering between sleep and wakefulness with fears and rampant ideas roaring through my head springing forth from the nightmare previous.

So it has been recently.

Still, I am not sure where the dreams are coming from.

After the beautiful wedding of S's friends that occurred in Arcata (beautiful because of the giant redwood trees environment, the sunny breezy weather, the beautiful Julia Morgan designed stone fireplace centerpiece of the Women's Grove, the witnessing of the joining of family members of the bride and the groom and his two daughters, the poems of love and bonding, the officiating of the ceremony by a friend of the wedded with a ulc credential) we drove back to Seattle this time passing Eugene and Portland in the daytime.

Tomorrow I am having a crown installed. My molar that the dentist ground down was not originally hurting at all (but was seriously chipped) but now has been regularly hurting feeling constricted or otherwise pained.

We have been spending a lot of time doing tasks related to helping S wrists heal.

I was remembering a bike ride that I took to Mercer Island via the I-90 Bridge but then the computers got stolen and I hadn't written about the fun I had that day.

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December 2012
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