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"More Truth than Humor"
[bracketed areas are edits by me... an 'experienced' nurse.]

A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.

A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can't read it.
An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A Graduate Nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.

A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.
An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.

A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, alcohol preps, etc.

A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a [confused] patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med [I.V. pump] at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic [as nothing is to be done unless the patient is symptomatic. Treat the patient, not numbers.].

A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the C[ertified] N[ursing] A[ide] give the patient a bath.

A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family".
An experienced nurse avoids the family.

A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley [urinary] catheter.

A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.
An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

A Graduate Nurse thinks psych[iatric] patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some "cough syrup" in their bag.

A Graduate Nurse doesn't find this funny.
An experienced nurse does.

[And I have a warped sense of humor.]

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
krussell
Feb. 23rd, 2001 02:21 pm (UTC)
haha! i thought that was hilarious. i'm one step beyond experienced, though--i'm burned out.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 28th, 2001 08:55 pm (UTC)
uh uh
Not funny to me.....I am a fairly new nurse but act more like an experienced one *if above
is any indicator, which I pray it isn't*...Interesting perspective I suppose *shrug*
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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